Christmas Rings Read online

  Mommy and Daddy.

  Tears came. Alissa tried to stop them, but it was useless. Grief filled her, pushing away everything but the awful bleak hopelessness. She hugged her knees and sobbed. A terrible darkness lived in her chest now. She was lost, adrift. Alone. Mrs. Keele said she couldn’t go back to school. She’d no longer be best friends with Sophie. Probably that horrible Roxanne would worm her way in and become Sophie’s new best friend. She’d never see Mrs. Johnson, her favorite teacher, ever again.

  Everyone she loved was gone.

  What would happen to their Christmas tree? There were presents under there too. Who would take them? The shell frame she’d made at school for Mommy and Daddy was under there, wrapped in sparkly blue paper. What would happen to it? And what about all their things?

  Her thoughts were interrupted by Mrs. Keele’s return. “Time to go, dear.”

  Go? Where?

  Alissa was in Mrs. Kirby’s kitchen. Gingerbread cookies were stacked on a platter shaped like Santa. Alissa had been allowed to have a cookie even though they hadn’t yet had dinner. The sweetness remained in her mouth even after taking a sip of milk.

  They’d chatted for a few minutes, then Mrs. Kirby told her something surprising.

  “I knew your dad,” Mrs. Kirby said. “He was a wonderful man.”

  “You knew him?”

  “Yes, my late husband worked with him at the university. They were both professors. I remember when you were born. Your dad was so proud. He went around the whole department handing out cigars.”

  “Cigars?” Alissa wrinkled her nose.

  “That’s just something people do when a baby is born,” Mrs. Kirby said. “Silly, isn’t it?”

  “Kind of.”

  “Would you like to call me Maddie, instead of Mrs. Kirby?”

  “I guess so.” Alissa studied Maddie. She had long dark lashes and wore pink lipstick. Her perfume smelled like a meadow of wildflowers. She wore a zebra-print dress and long black boots with a heel. Mommy would have liked her. She would have complimented her boots. “Did you know my mom too?”

  “Yes. I met her a few times at parties. She was very pretty and smart…” Maddie trailed off, and fidgeted with a napkin.

  Alissa nodded and tried not to cry. Her Mommy had been the prettiest woman in the whole world.

  They didn’t suffer.

  “They died,” she said.

  “I know, sweetie. I’m so very sorry. It hurts, doesn’t it?”

  “Yes,” she whispered. “I just want to go home.”

  Maddie put her hand on Alissa’s shoulder. The gentle touch made her want to crawl onto Maddie’s lap and bury her face into the soft, sweet-smelling shoulder. “My husband died a few years back,” Maddie continued. “My little daughter too.”

  A dart of shock coursed through Alissa. Did Maddie have the dark hole in her chest too? Was that what made her eyes sad?

  “They were in a car accident too,” Maddie said.

  “Oh.” She couldn’t think what to say.

  “I know how hard it is to understand what happened but I’m here to help.”

  “You have sad eyes,” Alissa said.

  “Yes, I do,” Maddie said. “My heart’s sad, so it shows in my eyes. I’m here for you now. The others will be too. Your new sisters. You won’t ever have to be alone again.”

  Alissa’s mind tumbled over this idea. Would her sisters become new friends? Other girls who understood what it was like to be without parents?

  “I know I can’t take the place of your parents, but I’ll love you like my own.”

  “Why?”

  “Because loving you makes it hurt less that my daughter is in heaven instead of here with me.”

  Maddie seemed nice—and she’d always wanted a sister. Not this way, of course, but her parents were gone. “I’d like to have sisters.”

  Maddie smiled and kissed the top of Alissa’s head. “I have something for you.” She went to the counter where a blue purse sat next to the telephone. Maddie reached inside and returned to the table to set a small silver heart in front of Alissa. “Whenever you feel scared or anxious, hold this heart and know your mother and father are now your guardian angels. They’ll always be with you, even if you can’t see them.”

  Alissa squeezed her fingers around the cold metal. Seconds later, warmth spread through her body, seemingly radiating from the heart. For the first time, she had hope that she would be all right. Her mother and father were her angels now. All she had to do was remember them, and they would be with her.

  “Thank you,” she said to Maddie, remembering her manners. Mommy always said there was something to be thankful for, even during the darkest times. She was thankful for Maddie Kirby.

  Please, Mommy and Daddy, look over me and this nice lady. And my new sisters.

  Alissa was seated at the dining room table in Maddie’s house with three other girls. She couldn’t yet think of them as her sisters even though she felt an instant connection with them. They all had sad eyes too. Still, they were strangers, thrown together because their parents were gone. Jo was a big girl of fifteen, with green eyes that were angry, as well as wretched. When Alissa smiled at her, Jo looked away and flushed. Stevie was the next oldest at thirteen, with a face kind of like a storm cloud. Her hair was the color of a copper cup Alissa’s father used to drink Moscow Mules out of on Saturday nights. The littlest girl, Hailey, wore thick glasses and darted glances at Alissa with her big blue eyes. She was so tiny and thin that Alissa thought she might float away like a balloon if someone didn’t hold her down. With that in mind, she scooted her chair closer and reached under the table to take Hailey’s hand.

  Hailey squeezed her hand back and they exchanged a smile.

  Maddie set a pile of blank paper on the table. “Since we’re so close to Christmas, I thought it would be fun to write Santa a letter.”

  Alissa glanced around the table. The two older girls looked down at their laps. A tear caught in Hailey’s lower lashes.

  Alissa had planned to ask for the Barbie camper. Now everything was different. All she wanted was her mother and father to come get her. She’d give up Christmas presents for the rest of her life if that could happen. But even Santa couldn’t deliver that wish.

  Maddie smiled at her. “He knows you’ve been through a lot and that you’ve been a good girl.”

  “Okay,” Alissa said. “I’ll write one.”

  Maddie passed around paper and pencils for everyone. The girls dispersed from the table, wandering to other places in the house. Alissa chewed on the end of her pencil, debating about what to write. Last month, she and Mommy had kept gratitude journals. Every day they wrote something they were thankful for and then shared it on the way to school. “No matter how bad things are,” Mommy’s voice echoed through her mind, “there is always something to be thankful for.”

  Alissa didn’t want to be thankful just at the moment. She wanted to scream and cry and break things. Yet, Mommy was right. She was here with Maddie and the other girls. The house was warm and pretty with two enormous sparkly trees. The room smelled of cookies and hot cocoa. Maddie had managed to bring her clothes, books and dolls from home. They were already arranged in the upstairs bedroom she would share with Hailey.

  Dear Santa,

  I’m thankful for my new home even though I miss Mommy and Daddy. I’d still like the Barbie camper even though it seems stupid now. I wonder if Barbie’s parents are alive? I’ve never seen them so maybe they’re dead too. If that’s true, does she have a foster mom like me? I’d also like you to bring something for each of my new sisters that will make them smile and take away their sad eyes.

  Yours truly,

  Alissa Mann

  That night, after they were allowed to eat a sugar cookie and drink a glass of milk, Alissa brushed her teeth. She stared back at her reflection, feeling almost as if her body and face belonged to someone else. Would she ever feel normal again?

  She slipped between the covers
in her new twin bed. Across from her, Hailey did the same. Maddie tucked the covers up around her shoulders and kissed her forehead, just like Mommy did. Then, she did the same for Hailey.

  “Will you be all right with just the night light?” Maddie asked.

  Alissa nodded.

  Hailey said, “Yes, ma’am.”

  “My daughter was afraid of the dark,” Maddie said, as she perched on the end of Alissa’s bed. “I bought the brightest light I could find. In the morning, I would come in and she’d have turned on the lamp anyway.”

  “Did she get in trouble?” Hailey asked.

  “No. I always figured there were more things to worry about than whether or not she needed the lights on,” Maddie said. “Anyway, you girls sleep well. In the morning, we’ll do a little Christmas shopping and go to the holiday festival at the town center.”

  “Really?” Hailey asked. “I’ve never been before.”

  “It’s one of the best parts of Christmas,” Maddie said.

  Alissa squeezed her eyes shut to keep from crying. She and her parents had gone there every holiday season. They’d bought a new ornament each year for their tree. What would happen to all those ornaments now?

  “What is it, sweetie?” Maddie asked.

  “What happened to all the ornaments at my house?” Alissa asked.

  Maddie swept a hand through her silky brown hair. “Your mommy’s best friend is taking care of putting away your parents’ things for you to have when you’re older. I’ll make sure she puts those in a safe place, okay?”

  Alissa’s body flooded with relief. “Thank you, Maddie.”

  “You’re welcome. Good night, loves.”

  Maddie went to the doorway and turned off the overhead light. “Door open or closed?” she asked.

  “Open,” Hailey and Alissa said at the same time.

  “Open it is then,” Maddie said. With one last smile, she disappeared from the doorway.

  Alissa heard her footsteps down the hall, and then a murmuring of voices as she stopped in Jo’s room. She lay on her back looking up at the ceiling. At home, her mother had placed glowing stars on the ceiling. Here, there was nothing but black. After a few minutes, the sound of Hailey crying startled her from her thoughts.

  “Hailey,” she whispered. “Are you all right?”

  “No,” Hailey said in a shaky voice. “I’m scared.”

  “It’s all right,” Alissa said. “I’m here.”

  “Would you sleep next to me?” she asked. “Just for a few minutes.”

  “Sure.” Alissa scooted out of the covers and crossed the few feet to the other bed. They were both small enough to fit nicely in the bed, lying on their backs and holding hands.

  “Sometimes when I can’t sleep, I tell myself stories,” Hailey said. “I have one about a dachshund puppy. Would you like to hear it?”

  “Sure. I love dogs,” Alissa said. A feeling she’d never had before washed over her. She wanted to protect her little friend, her new sister, from harm and further pain. Not that she had any idea how. Maybe listening to her story was a good start.

  “Once upon a time, there was a dog named Zeke,” Hailey said.

  Her new sister only got out two more sentences before she drifted off to sleep. Alissa slipped back to her own bed and curled on her side. The house creaked. Maddie’s footsteps, as she prepared for Christmas downstairs, soothed Alissa. She heard Mommy’s voice in her head. Everything will be all right, my darling. One day at a time.

  Eventually, she fell asleep and dreamed of angels singing “Silent Night.”

  Chapter 1

  Alissa yawned as she slipped out of her jeans and sweater and into her skimpy cocktail waitress uniform of booty shorts and a bikini top. Friday nights tried her willpower and resolve. After a long week of teaching kindergarten, coming to the gentlemen’s club to place drinks in front of men who should have been home with their wives or families was not exactly her dream life. However, sometimes even a nice girl had to do what she had to do. Even if it meant keeping aspects of her life a secret from her mother and sisters. This made her cringe when she thought about the perpetual lie. They were not a family of secrets. Maddie had always told them they could tell her whatever was on their mind, even if it wasn’t pretty.

  But this? This job she wouldn’t understand. Alissa wouldn’t have done it had she not been desperate. After graduation, she took a hard look at her student loans and wondered how she would ever pay them off with only her kindergarten teacher salary. Maddie would insist that she help Alissa financially. With everything in her being, Alissa didn’t want that to happen. Maddie Kirby had already sacrificed enough. Using her savings was not the answer to Alissa’s debt. She would take care of this herself. One way or the other.

  She’d swallowed her pride and accepted the job, burying her shame about lying to her family. For a year, she slogged through shifts, narrowly escaped gropes, and put every tip she made into the bank.

  Having accomplished her goals, she’d been down to her last month of waitressing. College loans were paid. She’d even managed to buy a few pieces of furniture for her tiny apartment. There was even a little extra in the bank for the unexpected. But then, her best friend Sophie had been in a car accident. She’d almost been killed. Multiple fractures to her legs, broken ribs and a concussion made it impossible for her to work.

  When Alissa got the call about Sophie, her heart stopped. Memories of her parents’ deaths and the toll they had taken on her life rushed over her. Only when the nurse assured her that Sophie would live could she breathe. However, Sophie wouldn’t be able to return to her office assistant job for months. An hourly employee without adequate insurance and no income, she would accumulate debt faster than she could heal. Alissa couldn’t let that happen. They’d been best friends since they were little kids. Even after Alissa had had to change schools, the girls had remained close. Sophie had been the only person from her old life that she hadn’t lost. She would do anything for her, including staying on at the club for a few more months.

  The gentlemen’s club was on the higher end, if that was possible for such a place. It was clean. A bright red and blue rug gave the room a cheery feel despite the dim lights. The stage was simple and elevated from the patrons’ tables to make it less likely for a lusty grab. Their dancers didn’t strip down all the way, just to their bras and panties. Okay, yes, the bras were basically see-through, but it was the principle of the thing. That’s what she told herself anyway. Also, there was absolutely no touching allowed. Even lap dances. Alissa never could figure out how they managed to keep their distance, dancing so close without actually touching. No matter what anyone said, there were skills involved in the profession. That’s why she was only a waitress. She couldn’t dance to save her life.

  The patrons were nicely dressed, usually rich businessmen entertaining clients. Alissa would rather have had a nice steak if it were her being wined and dined. But who was she to judge? They tipped well, not just the dancers but Alissa too. Rarely, a table would get out of hand. When that happened, Rif, the owner, kicked them out as soon as he caught even a hint of trouble. He took care of his girls, he always said. The girls, in turn for his loyalty and fairness, were loyal right back.

  Alissa had been surprised to learn more about the girls as time went on. They were not what she’d expected. There were a few law school and graduate students, single mothers without child support, even a medical student. They could make more money dancing than they could ever hope to make elsewhere. Alissa came to admire them, these women who put their real lives aside every night to entertain men because they had to.

  Alissa simply delivered cocktails. No dancing for her, she’d told Rif up front. He’d told her the opportunity was available if she ever changed her mind. “You could make ten times what you’re making slinging drinks and you sure have the body for it.”

  “No, thank you, sir,” she’d said. It was bad enough that she had to wear scarcely more than a bikini. There
was no way she was prancing around a pole or giving men lap dances.

  This particular Friday night was busy. She scampered from table to table, delivering drinks and taking orders. Music blasted through the speakers as the girls came out, one by one, to perform. They each had a persona that matched the song. Millie, for example, the medical student, danced to a country song while dressed in a tight “farmer’s daughter” outfit, including a straw hat and two blond braids.

  The song was nearing the end when Alissa stopped at a table of four men in suits. They’d just arrived and were in the process of taking off their jackets and loosening ties when she asked what she could get them. She guessed two of them to be in their early thirties. Both wore wedding rings and were attractive in that generic, closely cropped, business guy type of way. The third, who seemed a few years younger than the others, had dark, floppy hair and intelligent, sensitive eyes the color of unwashed denim. She felt certain she’d seen him before but couldn’t place where. The fourth man was closer to sixty, given his mostly gray hair and creases on his forehead and around his eyes. He winked at her when she turned toward him. She blatantly ignored the flirtatious overture and asked him, flatly, what he wanted.

  “We’d like martinis,” Denim Eyes said. “Made from Marsh Vodka, please.”

  Her eyebrows lifted before she could stop them. That was the highest-end vodka they sold, made by the boutique Marsh distillery. Rif said they made the finest liquors in the world. Alissa wouldn’t know. She occasionally had a glass of wine after her shift, but liquor made her gag.

  “Only the best for this table,” the old man said. “Since Marsh here has the tab.” He pointed at Denim Eyes.

  Marsh? Was he the owner of the distillery? “Stirred or shaken?” Alissa asked at the same time Millie pranced over to the side of the stage directly in front of Marsh’s table and shook everything. Great timing, Alissa thought. She must not have been the only one who noticed the symmetry of word and action. Everyone but Marsh tittered as Millie lifted a red cowgirl-boot-clad leg and shimmied around a pole.